


Comedy of Errors

by Tkeyla



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Community: 1_million_words, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-29 05:03:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tkeyla/pseuds/Tkeyla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Danny have engaged in their mating dance long enough. Friends, acquaintances, strangers are fed up and are taking matters into their own hands, deciding their fate for them. </p><p>  <i>“In four days, Mission Put-Us-All-Out-of-Misery commences,” Chin informed Danny.</i></p><p>Things don’t go quite as planned but no one is really complaining. Except Danny but only as much as you would expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaige68](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaige68/gifts).



> Written for: 1_million_words Holiday Happenings  
> Proofed by and blamed on kaige68. All remaining mistakes are solely mine!  
> Warnings/Notes: Some silliness. Some porn. Some liberties taken with facts on our show. (Nothing of consequence, I promise.) No warnings apply.

The main door hadn’t stopped swinging behind Steve before Kono and Chin were in Danny’s office. Steve had been summoned to the Governor’s office to explain how the latest case went FUBAR, although H50 was not to blame this time. There was a miscommunication between HPD and the FBI that had nearly gotten them all killed. Steve was none too happy about it. Danny ended up having to talk him down before he punched out Special Agent Malden right at the crime scene.  
   
“We’ve had enough,” Kono announced when she and Chin were looming over Danny, who looked up at them in complete confusion.  
   
“Enough? Enough what? Enough of Commander McSEAL yelling about idiotic FBI agents?” Danny asked.  
   
“Well, yeah,” Chin said, Kono nodding in agreement. “But this is something far more important.”  
   
“Far, far more important,” Kono said. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out an elegant cream colored envelope with the name of the most exclusive restaurant in Honolulu engraved in the upper left hand corner.  
   
“In four days, Mission Put-Us-All-Out-of-Misery commences,” Chin informed Danny who could only stare up at the cousins.  
   
“You two have been dancing around each other since day one,” Kono said, crossing her arms over her chest, displaying her very best ass-kicking face. “Stop it. Man up. Make the move.”  
   
“Excuse me?” Danny said, his eyes wide, his hands quaking quietly beneath his desk.  
   
“Don’t bother to deny it, brah. We see it. Grace sees it. Max sees it. All of Oahu sees it except the two of you. You are meant to be together. Valentine’s Day is the perfect day for you to make your move,” Chin informed him.  
   
“Make my move?” Danny repeated. “You have decided, what, that Steve and I should hook up?”  
   
“More like come to your senses,” Chin told him. “You two have it so bad for each other, you could set the building on fire.”  
   
“I have no idea what this is you are saying,” Danny claimed. He was shaking his head but his eyes held the truth. He knew exactly what they were talking about – he just wasn’t sure if he was ready to admit it to himself much less to the terrifying cousins facing him.  
   
“Don’t lie, Danny. It’s not attractive,” Kono said. “This is a gift certificate for you to take Steve to _Ma Kai_. It has great food. It’s very romantic. It has _ambience_.”  
   
“Ambience,” Danny repeated, stunned by the force of their determination.  
   
“We made you reservations for 8:00. Tell Steve he has to dress up. No cargoes and no tee shirts. This gift certificate should cover your meal and wine. If it doesn’t, we’ll pay the rest afterwards,” Kono said.  
   
“What?” Danny said, shaking his head to try and stop the buzzing of others taking over his life.  
   
“It’s not that complicated, Danny,” Chin said slowly. “You and Steve. Stop denying how you feel. Make the move. _And_ you’ll get lucky.”  
   
“Maybe I don’t like Steve like that,” Danny tried. His protest was met with laughter, laughter he did not appreciate.  
   
“You want him. He wants you. Why you haven’t admitted it is beyond us all. But we’re done with waiting. Tell him you two are going out for Valentine’s Day and don’t take no for an answer,” Kono ordered.  
   
Danny looked from her to Chin before turning his fuzzy brain toward the gift certificate. He was stunned when he opened the envelope. The amount of the certificate as sufficient to feed them all plus get most of them drunk. “This is…an obscene amount,” he finally said, awed by the extravagance of it.  
   
“We simply used all the money we collected,” Kono said with a one shoulder shrug.  
   
“Collected? Collected from who?” Danny asked, squinting up at them in suspicion.  
   
“Max, Charlie, Kamekona, Duke took care of HPD, the Governor’s secretary. And Grace added the $4.24,” Chin said.  
   
“You told all of them what your plans were?” Danny asked indignantly.  
   
“Nope,” Kono said. “They came to us. Begged us to do something. You two have been sniping at each other even worse the past few weeks. None of us can take it any longer. So we took matters into our own hands.”  
   
“And you decided it was my job to make Steve see reason,” Danny said, all defeat and resignation.  
   
“You’re the only one who can,” Kono pointed out. “He’s kind of emotionally stunted, if you haven’t noticed. We can’t leave anything as important as this to him.”  
   
“We’re watching out for _your_ best interest,” Chin lied.  
   
“This is only peripherally about me and my possible love life,” Danny said, shaking his head.  
   
“Hey. Whatever gets you two to stop fighting and start fucking is all to the good,” Kono said.  
   
“Kono Kalakaua. You did _not_ just say that,” Danny said.  
   
“She did. And she’s right,” Chin said, turning to leave Danny’s office. “We’re counting on you – 8:00 Thursday night. And don’t expect to be in on Friday. I’ll take care of the Governor.”  
   
“Right,” Danny sighed. “Fine.”  
   
“Good. Now. What are you wearing?” Kono asked, perched lightly on the edge of his desk.  
   
“A suit?”  
   
“Okay. No tie. Even _Ma Kai_ doesn’t expect one. That suit you wore to the Victoria’s Secret photoshoot. Tell Steve to wear his,” Kono directed.  
   
“And how am I supposed to ask him out on this date, exactly?” Danny asked.  
   
“Like you’d ask anyone. Here – I’ll be him. Ask me,” Kono said, standing up straight and magically morphing into Steve’s body language. “What’s up, Danno?” she asked, lowering her voice and staring at Danny much like Steve always did, measuring, considering, weighing. It had occurred to Danny that Steve did not look at anyone else that way. That mix of expressions was reserved solely for him.  
   
“So I was wondering, _Steve_. You want to go to dinner?”  
   
“We eat together all the time, Danno. You want me to char some meat over a fire for you?” Kono asked in her _Steve_ voice.  
   
“Yes we do. No I don’t. I thought it’d be fun to go to a nice restaurant for a change,” Danny tried.  
   
“A nice restaurant, huh?” Kono asked. “They serve pizza?”  
   
“I don’t think so. Listen. We’re going out Thursday night. You need to wear a suit. I’ll pick you up at 7:30,” Danny finally said.  
   
“Better,” Kono said with a sunny smile. “Skip to that last part. It’s language he understands.”  
   
“Okay, okay,” Danny sighed. “Flowers? Or is that too cliché?”  
   
“Not yet. That will come,” she promised with a wink before sashaying out of Danny’s office.  
   
Danny made sure to hide the gift certificate because nosy Steve would see it and play 200 questions about what it was and where it had come from.  
   
~0~  
   
The next day, Steve left the office to go meet with HPD and the FBI about what had happened. He had been assured that Special Agent Malden would _not_ be in attendance. Chin and Kono were back in Danny’s office before Steve’s chair was cold. Kono was holding a small picnic basket, festooned with a gigantic red bow.  
   
“I don’t want to know what that is, do I?” Danny asked in growing terror.  
   
“Remember that sex shop we prevented from being torched last month?” Chin said with a devilish grin.  
   
“Yeeeeaaahhh,” Danny said.  
   
“She wanted us to give you and your _partner_ this as thank you,” Kono said, putting it in the center of Danny’s desk.  
   
“Oh dear God,” Danny said, standing up. He didn’t think he was ready to face the contents of a basket from _Hana Hou_ which he’d learned meant _Come Again._ Convenient double meaning for the name of a sex shop. He carefully untied the ribbon and lifted the lid, finding an array of items inside he wasn’t sure he could identify. “Okay. I’m not really ready for this,” he admitted, closing the lid.  
   
“Here. It’s not that big a deal,” Kono told him, prying the lid up despite his resistance. She extracted the first bottle, holding it up. “Lube. Simple enough. This one is water based. Less messy but not as long lasting. This one,” she said, holding up a bottle that read _Gun Oil Lube,_ “lasts longer but is slightly messier. Neither of them will harm these condoms.” She calmly extracted a box that held 50 condoms at the minimum. Danny could feel the color rising on his cheeks. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only part of his anatomy rising at the sight of the condoms. “The rest are accessories which can add fun. Chocolate body paint, for instance,” she said, showing him the bottle.  
   
“That’s for later,” Chin said. “You’ll want to stick to the basics at first.”  
   
“And she included this book,” Kono said, not the least bit embarrassed to pull out a copy of _The Joy of Gay Sex._ “She said it is an excellent reference for men who have been only with women.”  
   
“Oh God,” Danny said, collapsing in his chair and covering his face. “This is the most embarrassing conversation I have ever been a part of. And I had to explain to Rachel’s mother why Grace was born 7 and a half months after we were married.”  
   
“Preemie didn’t work, huh?” Kono laughed with no sympathy at all.  
   
“Not when she weighed nearly 8 pounds,” Danny said.  
   
“This is nothing to be embarrassed about, brah. We want you to be ready,” Chin said warmly and without a hint of mockery.  
   
“How do you know I don’t have an entire bedpost filled with notches for the guys I’ve slept with?” Danny asked from between his fingers.  
   
Kono shook her head. Chin smiled. That was the only answer Danny really needed.  
   
“Read the book, brah,” Kono advised. “It has some really good parts. You can skip chapters that aren’t relevant. But you know what they say.”  
   
“Kill me now?” Danny replied.  
   
“No. Knowledge is power.”  
   
“Right,” Danny agreed. “Okay, super-cousins. Answer me this. Will I need to give it to Steve after I’ve read it?”  
   
“Maybe you can read it together,” Chin suggested.  
   
“He doesn’t have experience with men either?” Danny asked.  
   
“Don’t think so,” Kono said. “Not from the recon we did.”  
   
“Recon?” Danny asked faintly.  
   
“You don’t want to know,” Chin confirmed.  
   
“No. I probably don’t,” Danny admitted.  
   
“Oh. And by the way, we reserved you a room at the Hawaiian Hilton. You can walk to it from _Ma Kai_. No one to bother you. Don’t have to worry about Doris or….you know,” Kono said with a wave of her hand.  
   
“I have an apartment,” Danny pointed out.  
   
“Nah, brah. Has to be special,” Chin told him, Kono nodding in agreement.  
   
“Fine. The room is paid for too?” Danny asked.  
   
“Of course. The Governor picked it up,” Kono said, laughing at Danny’s expression.  
   
“Oh. My. God,” Danny said, wishing the floor to his office would open and swallow him whole. This conversation had passed _awkward_ when they pulled out the sex manual, and moved directly into mortifying. “Fine. Now, please get out while I am clinging desperately to the last shreds of my dignity.”  
   
“Did you ask him out yet?” Kono asked, ignoring his pleas for solitude.  
   
“Not yet. I will when he drives me home. You know, in _my_ car.”  
   
“Good plan,” Chin agreed, dragging Kono out of Danny’s office so he could regain some of his composure.  
   
~0~  
   
“You and me,” Danny said after Steve had pulled the Camaro out of the parking lot.  
   
“You and I?” Steve repeated, glancing over at him.  
   
“Whatever,” Danny said, waving it away. “Here’s the thing.”  
   
“The thing? What thing? What are you talking about?” Steve asked.  
   
“We are…this is… aren’t you…”  
   
“Nouns and verbs, Danno. Nouns and verbs are our friends,” Steve told him.  
   
“Okay,” Danny said, taking a deep breath. “Okay. You and I. We’re…we are…..” He didn’t get any further when Steve’s phone rang. He stopped at Steve’s raised finger.  
   
“McGarrett…right…okay… we’re on our way,” Steve said, flipping on the lights and siren.  
   
“Where are we on our way to?” Danny asked as he made sure his seatbelt was fastened securely.  
   
“Bank robbery in progress. It’s the one where Sabrina works,” Steve said, his face a mask of intensity.  
   
“Oh Lord. Max know?”  
   
“I don’t know. I was on with Duke. Call and ask if he told Max.”  
   
“Right,” Danny said, dialing Duke. Duke assured him that he had already dispatched an officer to inform Max who would no doubt insist on being taken to the scene.  
   
“We’ll need our TAC vests,” Steve was saying as he pulled behind the black and whites already there.  
   
“Okay. Pop the trunk. I’ll get them,” Danny said.  
   
“Why? I can get my own.”  
   
“Remember the last time I asked you not to go in my trunk?” Danny asked, a firm hand in the center of Steve’s chest when they were standing beside the Camaro. “Just do me a favor and listen this once.”  
   
“It’s not my birthday,” Steve reminded him, arms crossed over his chest.  
   
“I’m well aware of that,” Danny said. “Just. Please. Let me get them.”  
   
Steve frowned but finally nodded, waiting impatiently as Danny got both their vests from the trunk.  
   
“Thank you,” Danny said as he handed Steve’s vest to him.  
   
“I’m going to find out eventually what’s in there,” Steve warned, making sure his vest was fastened correctly.  
   
“I don’t doubt it. But give me the luxury of letting me believe I can keep a secret from you for longer than 15 minutes,” Danny requested, pulling his gun and following Steve over to where Duke was giving directions to the officers.  
   
“What’s the status?” Steve asked, crouching behind the police cars to confer with Duke.  
   
“There are six of them as far as we can tell. They are holding four employees hostage. Two customers were left in the bank when they entered,” Duke reported.  
   
“Demands?” Steve asked.  
   
“None yet. They aren’t saying anything. Hostage negotiator is on her way,” Duke said.  
   
“Okay,” Steve said, assessing the situation.  
   
“What? What is with that face? I know that face. Nothing good ever comes from it.”  
   
“Stop,” Steve said, turning to frown at Danny. “Stop with the nagging. I’m just determining the best strategic advantage.”  
   
“Advantage for what? Getting shot? Because if you move from behind this car, that is exactly what will to happen. You are not bulletproof, Steven. We’ve discussed this previously and at length.”  
   
“Where is the negotiator?” Steve asked Duke, effectively ignoring Danny’s familiar rant.  
   
“Five minutes out,” Duke said, glancing over at Danny.  
   
Danny could only shrug as Steve reached for the megaphone.  
   
“Did you ask him out yet?” Duke asked quietly as Steve announced his presence and requested a chance to talk to the person in charge.  
   
“I was in the middle of it when you called,” Danny said, watching Steve engage in a shouting match with one of the robbers.  
   
“Uh huh,” Duke said, frowning at Danny.  
   
“What? You think this is my fault?” Danny asked.  
   
“Frustration does strange things to a man’s head,” Duke informed him.  
   
“This is not my fault,” Danny said firmly.  
   
“Yeah, it is,” one of the officers said from where he was crouched on the other side of Duke.  
   
Danny sighed and frowned at them both, turning to talk to Steve when he was sitting back by him. “That worked well.”  
   
“They are at least talking to me,” Steve said. “What were you talking to Duke about me for?”  
   
“Because we’re going out on Thursday. To dinner,” Danny said, watching Steve yell back at the robber.  
   
“You and Duke?” Steve asked, leaning around Danny to see Duke laughing at him.  
   
“Sure. Or you and me. For dinner. Not that I wouldn’t rather go with Duke. He’d be better company. But his wife would probably object.”  
   
“She would,” Duke agreed.  
   
“So it’s you and me. Dinner. Thursday.”  
   
“Dinner?” Steve said before shouting back at the robber.  
   
“Yes. Dinner. Food that was not charbroiled over open flame by you,” Danny said.  
   
“Maybe I have plans,” Steve said, yelling to the robber to give it up already.  
   
“Plans? You have no plans. Or you didn’t until just now. You are going with me so I don’t know why you are bothering to pretend you aren’t,” Danny told him.  
   
“I might have a date for Valentine’s Day. You can’t know for sure.”  
   
“I do know for sure, Steven. You do not have a date. You are going to the restaurant with me,” Danny informed him.  
   
“This is your last chance,” Steve told the robbers. “Come out or we’re coming in to get you.”  
   
“That’s your gambit?” Danny asked. “We try to storm the bank, they kill the hostages. And Max kills you.”  
   
“They released the hostages,” Steve told him. “Which you would have known if you hadn’t been gossiping with Duke.”  
   
Danny looked over at Duke questioningly. Duke nodded in confirmation. “I see. Max here yet?”  
   
“Right here, Detective,” Max said from further down the row of police cars, one arm around Sabrina’s shoulders. She looked shaken but unharmed.  
   
“Okay. Go on,” Danny said, waving toward the bank. “I know you are dying to go Rambo on their asses.”  
   
“Cover me,” Steve said as he took off at a run toward the bank. Shoots were fired, returned, tear gas thrown, a quick resolution in the end. Three wounded bad guys, no harm coming to the police. “So. Dinner Thursday?” Steve said as HPD cleaned up.  
   
“Yes,” Danny sighed. “You need to dress up. I’ll pick you up at 7:30.”  
   
“Sounds like fun,” Steve said, going with Danny back to the Camaro.  
   
~o0o~  
   
Danny tried one more time but the Camaro simply would not crank. With a resigned sigh, he pulled out his phone.  
   
“Hey,” he said when Steve answered. “My car won’t start. I don’t know what you did to it but you have to come get me.”  
   
“How is it my fault it won’t start?” Steve asked. Danny could hear him moving around, no doubt collecting his keys.  
   
“You drive it all the time. You should know that it was acting up. Because it won’t start and you should have warned me.”  
   
“That doesn’t even make sense,” Steve informed him. “I’ll be there in 10.”  
   
“You’re wearing a suit, right?”  
   
“Yes. No tie. I did listen,” Steve said.  
   
“That’s a first,” Danny said, hanging up to Steve’s laughter. He returned to his apartment, finding a tote big enough to disguise the basket. He hoped a plain black gym bag would raise fewer questions than a picnic basket would. He already a clean tee shirt and shorts for him and Steve in his backpack which he had hoped to keep hidden in the trunk of the car. But that wasn’t to be.  
   
It was closer to 6 minutes when Steve pulled up outside Danny’s apartment.  
   
“What’s with the bags?” Steve asked. “Are we going camping with the Aloha Girls in our suits?”  
   
“Sure,” Danny said, putting them both in Steve’s backseat. “Just drive.”  
   
“That’s a great idea. Where am I driving to?” Steve asked.  
   
“Kalia Road,” Danny said.  
   
“Are we going to the Hawaiian Hilton Village? Because they do not require suits,” Steve said.  
   
“No we are not. You can wait the ten minutes to find out where we are going,” Danny told him.  
   
Steve returned what sounded suspiciously like a snort but did not otherwise argue. “What’s Grace doing tonight?”  
   
“There’s a sweetheart dance at school. She’s wearing the pink dress I bought her for the father /daughter dance. Rachel sent me pictures. I’ll show you at the restaurant,” Danny promised.  
   
“What are we doing with Grace this weekend?” Steve asked. That he would be included in their plans was a foregone conclusion. When had that happened? Danny couldn’t answer nor would he honestly say he minded.  
   
“I don’t know,” Danny said. “There’s a new movie she wants to go see. Something about talking horses or fairies or who knows.”  
   
“Is it ‘Mandy Takes on the World’?” Steve asked.  
   
“That sounds right,” Danny agreed.  
   
“That is not appropriate for Grace,” Steve said. “It has a lot of violence and too many graphic images.”  
   
“It’s a Disney movie,” Danny said.  
   
“Doesn’t matter. She doesn’t need to go see it,” Steve said.  
   
“All right. I’ll read the reviews too. Then we can tell her no,” Danny said.  
   
“Damn straight we’re telling her no,” Steve agreed.  
   
“Turn left here and pull into the first parking lot,” Danny instructed. Steve did it, finding a convenient space in the lot. He automatically followed Danny down the sidewalk until they arrived at the door to the restaurant.  
   
“I know how much you make. You can’t afford to eat here,” Steve said, a light hand on Danny’s arm.  
   
“Not usually,” Danny agreed. “But I have a gift certificate.”  
   
“Why?” Steve asked.  
   
“Because people who care about me wanted me to have it,” Danny said, deciding a tiny lie wasn’t a bad thing, really.  
   
“Wow,” Steve said. “I didn’t know you had such extravagant friends.”  
   
“You’d be surprised at what my friends are capable of,” Danny told him, entering the restaurant when the doorman had it open. The interior was warmly lit but dim enough to convey an air of romance. It was paneled with dark wood, a highly polished wooden floor beneath their feet.  
   
“How may I help you?” the maitre d’ asked, assessing them and deciding they were worthy, if just barley. Danny thought Steve rated higher on his worthiness chart but at least the man didn’t look ready to throw them both out.  
   
“We have a reservation,” Danny told him.  
   
“Name?” the maitre d’ asked, glancing from Danny to Steve to his list.  
   
“Danny Williams,” Danny said. There was a brief pause as the man checked his list before shaking his head.  
   
“I have no Williams,” the maitre d’ informed them.  
   
“You do,” Danny said, pointing at the list. “I have a reservation.”  
   
“I have no reservation for any Williams,” the maitre d’ repeated sternly.  
   
“What about McGarrett?” Danny asked just as sternly.  
   
“No,” he said, shaking his overly coiffed head. “No McGarrett.”  
   
“Kalakaua?” Danny tried.  
   
“No.”  
   
Danny frowned at him, feeling Steve stiffen next to him.  
   
“Come on, Danno. We’ll find somewhere else,” Steve said.  
   
“No. Hold on,” Danny said, taking out his phone. “We’re here. They do not have a reservation for us… no, none… okay.” He handed his phone to the maitre d’ who looked like he would surely catch something from it but eventually accepted it.  
   
“Hello?...yes… yes…. yes… yes.” He hung up, looking again at the reservation list. “Yes. There was an error. Right this way.”  
   
Danny nodded, following him between the elegant tables filled with couples being romantic, Steve right behind them.  
   
“I trust this is suitable,” the maitre d’ said, pulling out Danny’s chair and then Steve’s. The table was away from the main, more crowded dining area with a sense of cozy intimacy and a spectacular view of the ocean.  
   
“Very nice,” Danny agreed.  
   
“Your server Anna will be here momentarily,” the maitre d’ assured them before leaving with more haste than absolutely necessary.  
   
“Who did you call?” Steve asked, putting the linen napkin in his lap.  
   
“Kono. She made the reservation. I think he may be a cousin but I’m not sure.”  
   
“He’s clearly terrified of her,” Steve laughed.  
   
“As anyone with sense would be,” Danny agreed.  
   
“So what is the occasion?” Steve asked as he scouted the restaurant for possible hostiles and all available exits.  
   
“It’s Valentine’s Day. I’m sure on your super secret SEAL calendar, it did not exist. But for the rest of us it does,” Danny told him.  
   
“I’m well aware that it’s Valentine’s Day,” Steve said. “Why did you invite me out to dinner on what some consider the most romantic day of the year? Others, of course, consider it an excuse to eat chocolate and for Hallmark to sell more cards no one wants.”  
   
“You done?”  
   
“For now,” Steve said with a goofy smile that did _not_ affect Danny’s breathing. Not one little tiny bit.  
   
“Do you want the truth? Or the lie I’ve carefully rehearsed inside my head?” Danny asked.  
   
“The truth is usually the best course of action. Easier to remember,” Steve decided. There was a pause in their conversation when, Anna, their waitress appeared. She smiled down at them, her pleasure at being their server not disguised at all. Danny thought she might want to have them both for dinner but he would never admit it out loud.  
   
“May I tell you of our specials?” Anna asked, licking her bottom lip and making it glisten even more.  
   
“Sure,” Steve replied, smiling up at her and making her breath catch in her throat. He did not even flinch when Danny kicked him beneath the table.  
   
Anna told them of the specials, recommending the mahi-mahi, fresh from the ocean that very morning. The New York strip was also especially good if their tastes ran more toward the turf than surf. And they offered excellent wines to pair with each entrée. She would be delighted to inform them of those which were the best accompaniments.  
   
“Thank you,” Danny said as sincerely as he could. “If we could have a few minutes, we’ll look over the menu.”  
   
“Of course sir,” Anna said, smiling at him like he was dessert. Not that he minded but it was disrupting his concentration.  
   
“The truth?” Steve prompted from behind the gigantic menu.  
   
“Ah. Everyone we know said it was my responsibility to ask you out. Because we are apparently making fools of ourselves and driving them crazy at the same time. Even if we are happy sniping at each other like an old married couple without any of the benefits, the conspiracy theorists among our mutual acquaintances have determined that actually dating will alter our behavior to their benefit.”  
   
Steve was staring wide-eyed at Danny when he finished, his Adam’s apple working overtime. “What?”  
   
“If we have sex, we won’t drive everybody around us crazy,” Danny said much more succinctly.  
   
“Oh,” Steve said. “Oh.”  
   
“Oh – _yeah. Good idea_. Or oh – _I’m going to commit multiple murders as soon as I leave here._ ”  
   
“Number 1,” Steve said, his confused face morphing into a happy one. “You on board with that?”  
   
“Would I be here if I weren’t?” Danny asked. “I can’t say they are wrong, you know. I’ve heard we are as inevitable as sunshine on an Hawaiian day.”  
   
“Yeah?”  
   
“Yeah. Even Grace thinks so,” Danny said. “They took up a collection to buy us this gift certificate. Kono made the reservations. When we leave here, we’re going to the Hawaiian Hilton for the night.”  
   
“They thought of everything,” Steve said in pleased approval.  
   
“They certainly did,” Danny agreed, turning his focus to the menu. “Now. What are you having?”  
   
“How much is the gift certificate?”” Steve asked with a warm laugh.  
   
Danny took out of his jacket pocket and handed it to him, laughing at the expression that appeared on his face.  
   
“Wow.”  
   
“Yeah. The $4.24 is courtesy of Grace,” Danny said with a familiar warm smile.  
   
“And the hotel?”  
   
“From an interested, concerned friend. That’s all you need to know,” Danny decided. “What do you want for dinner?”  
   
“I haven’t decided. But I do know what I’m having for dessert,” Steve told him, watching him over the top of the menu.  
   
“Oh yeah?” Danny said with a flirtatious smile of his own.  
   
“Definitely.”  
   
“Those who are now in charge of running our lives told me you haven’t had, you know, relations with a man before. Is that true?” Danny asked, hoping like hell he didn’t sound as embarrassed as he felt.  
   
“If you mean penetrative intercourse, then no I haven’t,” Steve said smoothly.  
   
“That’s what I meant. And if you’ve done anything at all, it’s more than I’ve done,” Danny said.  
   
“Are you worried about that?” Steve asked. He seemed genuinely concerned and not as though he was planning to use the information later to his benefit.  
   
“Not especially. I know what I like. I am adaptable to make it what you like,” Danny told him. He carefully avoided meeting Steve’s eyes because he thought if he did, they would have to skip directly to dessert and that would be a real shame.  
   
“Hey, hey,” Steve said, covering Danny’s hand where it lay on the table. “We’ll figure it out. I’m looking forward to it.”  
   
“Yeah. Me too,” Danny admitted with a warm, genuine smile. The moment was interrupted by the return of Anna who took their orders slowly and carefully, suggesting sides to pair with their meals. They decided to trust her judgment and she happily went off to put in their requests and send the wine steward over to them.  
   
While they were waiting, Danny pulled out his phone and queued up the pictures of Gracie in her pink dress. He reached it over the table to Steve wondering why it was suddenly much warmer in the restaurant.  
   
“Oh God,” Steve said, grabbing Danny’s arm and dousing it with a generous splash of water from his glass. “You okay?”  
   
“Well hell,” Danny said, pulling his arm back to look at the scorch marks on his shirt cuff made by the romantic candle burning in the middle of the table. Their tiny drama had attracted the attention of several diners close by, all of whom expressed their concern for his condition. “I’m fine. It scorched my shirt but I wasn’t burned.” He pulled up his sleeve to show Steve and the concerned diners his wrist which was only slightly pink.  
   
“I’m sorry,” Steve said, studying Danny’s wrist. His thumb gently rubbed over the spot, soothing the last of the pain away. Or maybe Danny was so distracted by the feel of Steve touching him like that, he didn’t notice the burn any longer.  
   
“What for?” Danny asked quietly. “It was my own stupidity. You didn’t do it.” He thought he should take his hand back but in truth, he liked having Steve’s hand covering his on the table for all the world to see.  
   
“I know. I….” Anything else Steve might have said was forestalled by the arrival of the wine steward and the maitre d’ who wanted to make certain that Danny was unharmed.  
   
“I apologize,” Danny said, trying to hide some of his embarrassment.  
   
“There is no reason to apologize, Detective,” the maitre d’ assured him. “You are not the first to have an unfortunate encounter with one of our candles.”  
   
“That’s reassuring, at least,” Danny said.  
   
“As long as you are not injured, I will leave you with Wilson.”  
   
“I’m fine,” Danny said, the maitre d’ nodding and walking away.  
   
Wilson told them the recommended wines to go with their selected meals, Danny and Steve leaving the choices in his knowledgeable hands.  
   
“She is more beautiful every time I see her,” Steve said taking his hand back to look lovingly through the pictures of Grace.  
   
“Right?” Danny said, wistfully. “I want to freeze her so she stays the same beautiful, perfect child that she is.”  
   
“I’m pretty sure that’s neither legal nor possible,” Steve reminded him with a laugh.  
   
“You’re probably right,” Danny sighed. “It won’t be long before she’s ready to learn to drive. Which I hasten to add, you will _not_ be teaching her.”  
   
“You sure?” Steve asked with a charming smile. “She’ll know how to drive on the side of cliffs without concern.”  
   
“No,” Danny said, shaking his head. “You are not teaching her.”  
   
“Okay,” Steve conceded, his smile never fading. “When are we picking her up?”  
   
“After school tomorrow. We won’t be telling her what we did tonight,” Danny warned.  
   
“Chances are she’ll know,” Steve said.  
   
“Suspecting your father is having sex with your favorite uncle and _knowing_ are two very different things,” Danny reminded him sternly.  
   
“I’m her favorite uncle?” Steve asked, all wide-eyed innocence.  
   
“Like you didn’t know,” Danny huffed, shaking his head. “You’re not nearly as cute as you think.”  
   
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I am,” Steve told him, leaving Danny no choice but to laugh.  
   
“Maybe,” Danny said, smiling despite his best intentions.  
   
It wasn’t much longer before their dinners arrived, Wilson pouring them two huge glasses of wine after making sure they had no plans to drive.  
   
They were both groaning from the delicious food and excellent wine, conceding that they could not possibly eat another bite. Anna reluctantly left their check, making absolutely sure there was nothing else she could do for them. Anything? Anything at all that they needed?  
   
After many assurances that there was nothing further they needed, Steve put the gift certificate in the leather folder, handing it back to her. She nodded and slowly walked away. A few short minutes later, the maitre d’ returned, the same folder in his hand.  
   
“There has been an unfortunate error,” he said when he stood next to their table.  
   
“What sort of error?” Danny asked, looking up at his most displeased expression.  
   
“We do not accept certificates for Valentine’s Day,” the maitre d’ informed them.  
   
“Where is that written?” Danny asked much more civilly than he felt. “It was purchased for us to specifically come tonight. Purchased by Kono Kalakaua who made us the reservations.”  
   
“She should have been informed it is not valid tonight,” the maitre d’ told them stiffly.  
   
“That’s your error, not ours,” Danny told him. “It is not printed on the certificate. She was not informed. We were not informed. You will accept it. Why would you make tonight an exception? You already have the money. What do you care when we redeem it?”  
   
“It is policy,” he tried.  
   
“That’s too bad. Because we aren’t paying for this admittedly fine meal twice. Our friends already paid for it. You will be accepting the gift certificate or tomorrow your doors will remained closed,” Danny warned.  
   
“You do not have the authority to shut us down,” the maitre d’ retorted. But Danny could see the doubt in his eyes and pressed his advantage.  
   
“You engage in deceptive business practices. You serve alcohol to underage patrons. I’m pretty sure you employ underage bus-boys. Any of these are enough to have your license revoked. You want us to stay here another hour and find enough other violations to close you permanently?” Danny asked.  
   
The maitre d’ straightened and stiffly turned.  
   
“Well,” Steve said with a laugh and a look of admiration in his eyes.  
   
“Can you believe him? ‘We don’t accept these tonight.’ That’s just bullshit,” Danny said.  
   
“Are they really serving drinks to underage patrons?” Steve asked, glancing around the room.  
   
“To at least two college students I could see in the mirror. There’s no way they were 21,” Danny said.  
   
“And the bus-boys?” Steve asked.  
   
“He isn’t shaving yet,” Danny said, nodding his head toward one of the guys discreetly clearing a neighboring table.  
   
“No, he definitely isn’t,” Steve had to agree. He smiled up at Anna when she returned, the folder clutched tightly in her hand.  
   
“I’m so sorry,” she said quietly. “He can be such a… well. I guess you figured that out.”  
   
“We didn’t know you didn’t accept the certificates on Valentine’s Day,” Danny told her warmly.  
   
“I didn’t know until he yelled at me for it,” Anna said. “I’ve worked here part time for three years. It’s the first time it’s been a rule.”  
   
“So maybe it’s just a rule for us?” Danny guessed.  
   
“I don’t know. I’m just sorry he was so rude to you,” she said.  
   
“Does he object because we’re here together?” Steve guessed.  
   
“I’m pretty sure that’s not it. I’m guessing it’s because you are Five-0? He’s not overly fond of policemen,” she said quietly. “He has several family members who are and he wanted to join the force as well. It didn’t work out but I don’t know the details.”  
   
“That’s too bad,” Steve said. “Thank you for your excellent service tonight. We’ll call the owner tomorrow and tell him what a great job you do.”  
   
“You don’t have to do that,” she said with an adorable blush. “I’m glad you enjoyed your meal. And I hope you’ll come back, despite how he treated you.”  
   
“Maybe we will,” Danny said with a smile that pinked her cheeks even more.  
   
“We got change back?” Steve asked when Anna had left them.  
   
“Uh huh. Quite a bit. Enough to over-tip Anna, tip Wilson, and pay for a night cap if I thought there was any chance we could drink one,” Danny said, showing him the amount that was left over.  
   
“You want to leave it all for Anna?” Steve asked.  
   
“Sure. Seems appropriate,” Danny agreed, closing the folder after writing a note on the receipt. “You ready?”  
   
“I am,” Steve agreed, standing to follow him back through the restaurant. The eyes that followed their passage to the front door were universally admiring and envious. 

_to be continued....(tomorrow)_


	2. Arm Porn and Fire Alarms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their date continues as do the troubles that always seem to pop up. All's well in the end!

Danny stopped before leaving the alcove protecting the front door, frowning at the warm rain coming down. “Well.”   
   
“Yeah,” Steve said. “At least the hotel’s only two blocks.”   
   
“You go ahead. I need to get the bags from the truck,” Danny said, holding his hand out for the keys.   
   
“I’ll come with,” Steve offered.   
   
“Nah. No use both of us getting completely soaked. You go directly there. I won’t be 5 minutes behind.”   
   
Steve looked down the street toward the hotel and then the other direction to the bright lot where the truck was safely parked. “Okay. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”   
   
“Yep,” Danny agreed, turning toward the parking lot as Steve went in the opposite direction. As much as the rain annoyed him, at least it was a warm rain. Had they been in New Jersey, his hair would be frozen into the curls he could feel forming on the back of his head.   
   
He got the two bags out of the truck and locked it back securely before turning toward the hotel. He was on the edge of their property when he found Steve sitting on a young man face down in the mud, yelling for Steve to get off.   
   
“I leave you alone for five minutes, Steven. And you can’t avoid getting into trouble,” Danny said, shaking his head and making raindrops fly from the ends of his soaked hair.   
   
“He pulled a gun on me, Danny. What do you think I should have done? Ignore him? Tell him to go find someone else to rob?”   
   
“What kind of dumbass are you that tries to rob a Navy SEAL?” Danny asked down to the still squirming man as he pulled out his phone.   
   
“How would I know he’s a SEAL? Get off me. I can’t breathe,” the man demanded.   
   
“Not breathing is going to be the least of your problems if you don’t shut the hell up,” Steve said, pressing down on his back with even more of his weight.   
   
“Try not to kill him, Steve. HPD will be here in three minutes. They can deal with this scum. Where is his gun?” Danny asked.   
   
“In that bush,” Steve said, pointing to it over his shoulder.   
   
“In the ‘ohi'a lehua bush. Covered with the one flower on this God forsaken island that will make me break out into a rash of epic proportions.”   
   
“It’s not like I kicked it into the bush on purpose, Danno. He was threatening to shoot me. Your allergy to the official state flower did not enter into my thinking while defending myself,” Steve informed him.   
   
“You’ll have to retrieve it when HPD gets here,” Danny told him. “Because I’m sure not going near it.”   
   
“Fine. I’ll take care of it. You don’t need to worry about helping secure the arrest and conviction of this idiot.”   
   
“Why don’t you two get a room?” the would-be robber demanded from beneath Steve.   
   
“We were trying to,” Danny told him too loudly.   
   
“Oh,” the man said, clamping his mouth shut. Luckily for him, a black and white arrived on the scene to cuff him and put him in the cruiser, safely away from Steve and Danny who were soaked to the skin and standing in shoes that squished unpleasantly every time they moved.   
   
“I’ll give my full statement tomorrow,” Steve told the officer.   
   
“Of course, Commander,” the officer said, watching as his partner retrieved the gun from the dripping wet bush covered with red flowers. “Are you harmed?”   
   
“He’s not hurt,” Danny said.   
   
“Thank you. Because I couldn’t possible answer for myself,” Steve said down to Danny.   
   
“Do you need us right now?” Danny asked the officer, ignoring Steve who was looming over him.   
   
“No sir,” the officer said, struggling not to laugh. “You can see Duke tomorrow to file the report.”   
   
“We will,” Danny agreed, pulling Steve by the arm toward the hotel that was shining like a beacon of comfort and dryness as the rain ran in rivulets down his face and under his collar. He had left his jacket in the truck so his shirt was plastered to his body like a second skin.   
   
“Would you please let go?” Steve said, making no effort to escape Danny’s grasp.   
   
“No. I will not let go. If I let go, you will end up trying to prevent an alien invasion single-handed. We are checking into the hotel and sequestering ourselves the rest of the night. We will not be answering our phones unless my darling daughter calls which is unlikely as it is past her bedtime.”   
   
“We have to answer if the Governor calls,” Steve told him.   
   
“He won’t be calling,” Danny said. “Trust me on this one.”   
   
“He won’t,” Steve repeated as they entered the bright lobby of the hotel. If the bellhops were barely disguising their smiles at the sight of the two men thoroughly soaked, they could hardly be faulted for their amusement.   
   
“Detective, Commander,” the assistant manager said in greeting, smiling in welcome as though they were not creating a huge puddle directly in front of the reception desk. “What can I do for you?”   
   
“We have a reservation,” Danny told him to his nods.   
   
“Of course. I have your keys right here,” he informed them, handing them over with no fuss. “This particular suite comes with a complimentary spa treatment for two. If you would like to take advantage of this offer, I can schedule you a massage for a time most convenient to you.”   
   
“Oh,” Danny said, looking up at Steve. “What do you think?”   
   
“Maybe next time,” Steve said, bouncing on his toes.   
   
“Next time for sure. Thank you,” Danny said, leading Steve over to the elevators. Out of the corner of his eye, Danny could see one of the hotel workers mopping up from where they had left evidence of their arrival.   
   
The elevator swiftly and efficiently swept them up to one of the top floors of the tower, Danny leading the way to the room that had been reserved for them. He got the door open, appreciating the luxury of it and the gigantic bed that dominated the room.   
   
“Finally,” Steve said, peeling off his drenched jacket. His shirt followed as Danny disappeared into the bathroom.   
   
While he was there, he turned on the shower and left the toothbrushes he had packed on the vanity.   
   
“Why aren’t we doing this at my house?” Steve asked as he leaned casually on the bathroom door frame wearing nothing but his tattoos.   
   
“Too much chance of interruption,” Danny said, studying him with an appreciative smile. “And those in charge of us thought this would add a certain amount of romance.”   
   
“I don’t need any more romance as long as I have you,” Steve assured him, capturing him by his wet shirt front. “I am going to kiss you now. Take a deep breath because it may be a while before you can breathe again.”   
   
“Roger that,” Danny agreed, reaching up to thread his fingers through Steve’s wet curls, enjoying the freedom to touch as much as he wanted to. His right hand was running up and down Steve’s back, appreciating the flex of the hard muscles beneath cool skin. His mouth was taken over, Steve fully in charge of the kiss that consumed them both.   
   
The kiss was hard and messy and sweet and perfect. Just the way he’d imagined when he’d allowed himself to think of the possibilities of kissing Steve. And being kissed by Steve.   
   
“We’re wasting water,” Danny whispered as Steve kissed his neck beneath his wet collar.   
   
“Then get undressed and join me,” Steve recommended, making himself back away from Danny.   
   
“Two minutes,” Danny agreed. “Please try not to get into any trouble while I’m getting undressed.”   
   
“I’d say it won’t be a problem but after tonight, I promise to be vigilant,” Steve said as Danny watched him climb into the tub, very much enjoying the view of his disappearing backside.   
   
It didn’t take especially long for Danny to strip out of his drenched clothes, leaving them in an untidy pile on the bathroom floor. They would deal with them in the morning. Right now, he had much more important actions on his agenda.   
   
He entered the shower, staring at Steve who was standing beneath the shower spray, just standing, watching Danny. The smile that overtook Steve’s face told Danny everything he needed to know about what Steve was thinking.   
   
“You are such a goof,” Danny said, affection coating his words.   
   
“Yeah?” Steve said, reaching out and carefully pulling Danny closer. He kissed Danny, _kissed him_ kissed him as they said in Grace’s storybooks. And Danny enjoyed it in such a way as would never be described in those same stories. The proof of how much he liked being kissed was clear, as was Steve’s twin evidence.   
   
“The things I want to do to you,” Danny said, running his hands down Steve’s chest and over the slight curve of his hips, his hand skimming ever closer to Steve’s erection. It wasn’t completely full but Danny could see the promise in the hardness that already awaited his attention.   
   
“Do tell,” Steve said.   
   
“I’d rather show than tell,” Danny said, reaching up for another kiss. “I need to wash my hair or unspeakable things will happen to it.”   
   
Steve nodded, reaching over for the tiny bottle of shampoo and guiding Danny into the stream. Gently and thoroughly, Steve shampooed Danny’s hair, Danny closing his eyes to appreciate the feel of the Steve’s fingers as he worked the shampoo into the silky strands.   
   
“Nice,” Danny murmured as Steve made sure all the shampoo was rinsed out.   
   
“I’m glad,” Steve said. “You could do it for me in the morning but you can’t reach.”   
   
“For someone about to get laid, you sure are being mean,” Danny said, no sting in his words.   
   
“Because I know it doesn’t matter what I say to you,” Steve pointed out.   
   
“True,” Danny had to agree.   
   
Steve laughed, leaning down to kiss Danny’s relaxed face. “You ready to get out?”   
   
“Yeah. As nice as this is, I have other plans for you, Sailor.”   
   
“I like the sounds of that,” Steve said, turning off the shower and reaching out for two towels. “Are you going to have to do your hair? Should I find a movie to watch while I wait?”   
   
“Just for that, I should make you wait,” Danny said, making his hair even more unruly with the towel. “But we’ve wasted enough time already. Come on.”   
   
Steve happily followed him, helping him pull back the fluffy comforter on the bed and unloading the excessive amount of pillows that must multiply in the dark of night.   
   
“Lay down,” Danny requested, rubbing up against his taller body, creating almost enough friction.   
   
“You got it,” Steve agreed, gracefully laying in the center of the bed, his head cushioned by several pillows.   
   
Danny smiled at him before momentarily disappearing into the bathroom, quickly returning with a fresh towel. He put it on the bed before retrieving the basket, carefully removing it from the soaked tote. “This is part of our Valentine’s Day present,” Danny explained when Steve looked at it inquiringly. “It’s from _Hana Hou.”_   
   
“Yeah?” Steve asked, rolling on his side to look into it. “Looks like we’re ready,” he laughed.   
   
“I think we are,” Danny said, showing him some of the more interesting parts of the gift. “We even have a reference manual.”   
   
“Will we need it?” Steve asked, reaching over for the paperback.   
   
“I read parts of it. They were pretty interesting. The precautions especially. But since we aren’t planning to do anything that would be considered unsafe, we’re in the clear.”   
   
“Condoms,” Steve said. “I guess we do need these.”   
   
“I’m 99% sure I’m clean but it’s been a while since I’ve been tested.”   
   
“Me too,” Steve said. “We’ll use them to start. Until we know.”   
   
“Yeah. I’m sure this lube is specifically for you,” Danny said taking out the _Gun Oil._   
   
“Without a doubt,” Steve agreed with a laugh. “Who knew such a thing existed?”   
   
“I know, right? _The Joy of Gay Sex_ has a list of internet resources. I went to a couple of them. They were…fascinating.”   
   
“We’ll go to them later,” Steve said. “Who are these friends who made sure we are ready?”   
   
“Everybody,” Danny said with an all encompassing circular motion of his hand. He collected most of the items and returned them to the basket, holding out the lube. Rolling over enough to put the basket on the floor, he smiled when Steve caressed his bottom. “Nice.”   
   
“You have a world-class ass,” Steve told him. “I’ve always thought so. It just didn’t seem appropriate to admit it to you.”   
   
“What other secrets are you hiding from me?” Danny asked as he sat up and gently pushed on Steve’s shoulder until he was laying flat on his back.   
   
“Mmm…” Steve said, his right hand running down Danny’s chest, long fingers wrapping around Danny’s erection.   
   
“Not yet,” Danny said, shaking his head. “I have _plans_ for you.” With that, Danny leaned over Steve’s arm, licking the edge of his tattoo, the one that constantly peeked out from beneath Steve’s shirt sleeve, teasing Danny. “Mmm…” Danny sighed, licking over more of the inked skin.   
   
“Are you planning to lick all of me?” Steve asked, a laugh in his voice.   
   
“Maybe. You got a problem with that?” Danny asked, licking the center of the tattoo. The skin felt slightly different in ways he couldn’t name. He liked the sensation of running his tongue over the beautiful design as well as the fact that he finally had permission to do it. He also very much liked discovering the taste of Steve, all the cliché descriptions popping unbidden into his head – ocean, sun, strength. “Oh yeah,” Danny said, licking him one last time. He straightened just enough to lift Steve’s arm over his head, laying it on the pillow. “Stay,” Danny said.   
   
“Mmm…” Steve sighed, no plans to move.   
   
Danny licked his triceps, admiring the softer, whiter skin there. He licked the bulging muscles, nipping gently as he enjoyed the stronger scent that was all male. The shower had taken away the orders of the day, leaving only _Steve_ behind. And it was intoxicating. He could not resist running his fingers gently over the patch of hair in Steve’s armpit, the fascination of it undeniable. “God you are gorgeous,” Danny said, leaning down to bite Steve’s nipple that was standing at hard attention.   
   
“Yeah?” Steve asked, straining to watch Danny as he explored Steve’s chest, mapping it, learning it, licking, biting, teasing the skin until Steve was shifting in need.   
   
“I’m sure you never noticed,” Danny said, licking down the center of Steve’s flat stomach to the thicker patch of hair, the one that sheltered the base of Steve’s hard erection. “What with having no mirrors and all,” Danny said, dipping into his navel then tonguing back down the magic trail. He shifted so he was between Steve’s thighs, Steve automatically spreading his legs further apart to accommodate him. “Never noticed how long your eyelashes are. Or how your jaw is carved from stone. Or that your eyes stupidly change color. What’s up with that?”   
   
“I should have known you’d be a talker,” Steve said, burrowing his right hand into Danny’s damp hair. “God knows you never shut up.”   
   
“Uhn,” Danny said, reverently touching the creases between stomach and leg. He decided he could wait to explore them with his tongue, crawling back up the length of Steve to lay over him. Their erections were trapped between their stomachs, the pressure wonderful and frustrating. “You think I have better things to do with my mouth than talk?”   
   
“I sure hope so,” Steve said, raising his head to chase Danny’s lips. Danny stayed just out of reach until Steve groaned in need. Danny smiled before capturing Steve’s mouth with his own, kissing him like he meant it. “Good lord,” Steve breathed when Danny finally lifted his head.   
   
“Yeah?” Danny said before kissing him again. As he was exploring Steve’s mouth with his tongue, he shimmed off to wrap warm fingers around Steve’s hot erection, stroking him and swallowing his moans of pleasure. He focused long enough to add lubricant to his palm, not wanting to risk chaffing Steve’s skin. They had lots of exploration left to do. Turning Steve’s most delicate skin pink would not fit into those plans.   
   
“Just like that,” Steve panted, raising his hips to follow Danny’s hand as it reached the top. Danny swiped over the wet tip, Steve groaning in approval. “More. More of that,” Steve gasped, thrusting up into Danny’s fist. “Oh yeah.”   
   
“Etiquette dictates that you reciprocate,” Danny said with a laugh in his voice.   
   
“Etiquette,” Steve repeated in a whisper. “I’ll give you etiquette. After.”   
   
“Hmmm….” Danny hummed, going up on his knees to watch his hand. He pumped Steve, enjoying the reactions he was eliciting from Steve’s body. He was squirming, panting, his feet in constant motion. Danny’s left hand barely grazed Steve’s skin, feeling his pulse quicken, his core temperature rise. The reactions he was witnessing were much like his own when he was on the receiving end. Witnessing them in someone else was more fascinating, more of a turn-on than he’d expected. He knew how much he liked it. He didn’t think he’d ever have a chance to watch someone else enjoy it as much.   
   
“You’re thinking too loud,” Steve complained, reaching up for him. Danny laughed and allowed Steve to pull him down, kissing him incoherent. His brain had been a jumble since Steve appeared in the bathroom naked. With this kiss, it completely short-circuited, no two thoughts able to come together. And he was fine with it.   
   
Feeling Steve on the verge of release, Danny increased the speed and firmness of his strokes, still kissing away what little breath Steve had remaining. Steve was moaning with each gasp of air, Danny encouraging him to fall over the edge.   
   
When he did, when he came, it was spectacular. To see Steve undone, unglued was glorious. His body was quivering, his breathing stuttering, his arms and legs weightless and too heavy to lift off the bed. Steve had no strength remaining to complain when Danny wiped the come off his hand onto the hard plains of Steve’s stomach.   
   
“Oh,” Steve finally said, slowly opening his eyes to stare up at Danny. His pupils were blown, his mouth slack as he gasped for air. “Dear God.”   
   
“You’re welcome,” Danny laughed, kissing him gently. The soft press of lips was almost too much. Steve was already electrified. The kiss threatened to blow the rest of his fuses.   
   
Steve pulled Danny down so he lay fully on top of him, wrapping long arms around him. “Nap. Then reciprocation,” Steve whispered into Danny’s hair.   
   
“Lazy,” Danny laughed, shifting to prove that he remained aroused and in need. “If you’ll unwrap your octopus tentacles, I’ll take care of myself.”   
   
Steve shook his head, kissing the words silent. “Shhh…savoring the afterglow. Nap now.”   
   
Danny had to shake his head with a warm smile that Steve missed, fully relaxing on top of him. He could wait for release. Laying still was for the greater good.   
   
~0~   
   
“Jesus Joseph and Mary,” Danny said, sitting up at the shrill clanging vibrating the air around them.   
   
“What the hell?” Steve said at the same time. He sat up too quickly, smashing his nose directly into the back of Danny’s head. “Ow. Dammit to hell.”   
   
“What is going on?” Danny asked loud enough to be heard over the unholy racket.   
   
“Fire alarm.” Steve finally managed to decipher it. “We need our clothes.”   
   
“Good God,” Danny said, scrambling out of bed and reaching for the backpack with their dry clothes. The room was dark except for the fire signal that was casting a hellish red glow over the room. “Here,” Danny said, throwing Steve’s board shorts at him followed by a tee shirt. Danny pulled on his cut-offs and tee shirt as quickly as he could, grabbing a wad of Kleenexes out of the box to hand to Steve. Hopefully it would be enough to stop Steve’s nose from continuing to bleed.   
   
“We need to go,” Steve said, holding the tissues to his nose.   
   
“I’m coming,” Danny said, retrieving the room key before following Steve into the hallway that was in utter chaos. People were milling around in confusion, bunched up at the elevator, one man in plaid pajamas repeatedly punching the elevator call button.   
   
“We can’t use the elevator,” Steve said loud enough and with enough authority to get everyone within ear shot to listen. “They are out of commission in a fire. We have to take the steps. They are around the next corner.” He discreetly threw away the bloody tissues, the blood no longer running over his upper lip.   
   
“Who are you that we are going to follow your orders?” angry elevator-button-pushing man demanded, punching it a few more times for good measure.   
   
“Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett. Head of the Hawaii Five-0 task force. This is Detective Danny Williams. Now please proceed orderly and calmly to the stairwells and start down them,” Steve directed, pointing toward the flashing exit sign further down the hallway.   
   
“This way,” Danny said with as much authority as he could muster. Not up to Steve’s standards but enough that it got everyone moving in the right direction. “Stay calm. We’re all going to get down,” Danny said from the landing. There were a few people coming down from the floors above them but as they were only two floors below the penthouse, there wasn’t too much traffic.   
   
“All right,” Steve said when he stood beside Danny holding open the door. “Calmly and orderly. Hold the hands of the children. Don’t run. The stairwells are insulated. In the unlikely event there is an actual fire, we are safe here.” Whether or not what Steve said was true, it was reassuring enough for those descending the steps to calm down. The trip grew slower as they went down each successive floor, more people entering the stairwell. Steve and Danny directed traffic, making sure families didn’t get separated and that all of the small children were secure with their parents.   
   
“Only three more flights,” Danny assured them. The stairwell was wall-to-wall people but no one was panicking. They were talking quietly, watching out for each other, checking on the smallest children, strangers carrying crying babies, comforting sobbing children they had never before met.   
   
Steve and Danny followed behind the crowd, remaining inside momentarily to ensure that there were no stragglers. Hearing no further footsteps, they left the stairwell to stand in the rain with the rest of the hotel patrons. Everyone was milling about, the group escorted by Steve and Danny the calmest of all the bunches.   
   
“It’s going to be fine,” Steve said loudly, everyone turning to look over at him and Danny. “Make sure you know where your family members are. We need to cross over to the lawn. I know the rain makes it unpleasant but we can’t stay near the building. Quickly and carefully cross the drive and remain in the grass,” Steve directed, Danny helping him herd the two hundred or so people away from the building.   
   
“Commander, Detective,” the hotel manager said when he walked up to them. “Thank goodness you got here so quickly.” That they were barefoot and in shorts seemed to escape his notice.   
   
“Danny and I were staying here tonight,” Steve said, refusing to look embarrassed about it.   
   
“I see,” the manager said. “Excellent choice. Except for this unfortunate incident.”   
   
“Is there an actual fire?” one of the guests asked. She was standing just behind Steve and Danny and couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.   
   
“There is,” the manager said. “In the kitchen. We believe it is a grease fire. The fire department will be here in one minute.”   
   
“Why aren’t they here already?” Danny asked. “It took us 10 minutes to get down the stairwell.”   
   
“We have had a series of false alarms. They don’t come automatically until they have verbal confirmation,” the manager admitted.   
   
“That’s against every fire code in the universe,” Danny said.   
   
“You don’t know every code, Danno,” Steve said.   
   
“I know enough to know they should come immediately, every single time. Monday we are meeting with the Fire Chief.”   
   
“All right,” Steve said, knowing it was simpler to agree. “Is everyone out?”   
   
“We have 235 guests,” the manager said. “I counted 240 guests here on the lawn.”   
   
Steve nodded, climbing up onto a bench surrounding several palm trees. “You all need to stand still while we count. We aren’t certain everyone is out.”   
   
All those gathered stayed in place as Steve, Danny, and the manager counted heads.   
   
“I get 236,” Danny said.   
   
“Did you count us?” Steve asked.   
   
“Did I count us? Are you kidding me with that?”   
   
“I counted 237,” the manager said.   
   
“I get 237,” Steve confirmed.   
   
“That’s everyone then,” the manager said, turning toward the driveway when the three gigantic fire trucks arrived. He moved toward them, Steve and Danny following.   
   
“How’s your nose?” Danny asked, looking up at Steve through the rain.   
   
“Okay. Not bleeding any longer.”   
   
“Thank goodness for that,” Danny said, watching the manager explain to the firemen where they needed to go. “Could this night get any weirder?”   
   
“Don’t say that. Saying it will lead to an alien invasion for sure,” Steve said.   
   
“You’re probably right,” Danny had to agree. “What time is it?”   
   
“Mmm…2:34,” Steve said after checking his watch.   
   
“You still owe me, you know.”   
   
“Right. Etiquette,” Steve confirmed. “You want me to take care of you right here? Right now? Because it would give the guests a real story to tell when they get back home.”   
   
“You really are an animal,” Danny complained, turning to talk to Lakeu, one of the EMTs who arrived just after the fire truck. “I think everyone is okay.”   
   
“What’s with the blood on your nose, Steve?” she asked, shining a flashlight to see it better.   
   
“Impact with a hard object. When the alarm went off,” Steve explained.   
   
“Is it still bleeding?”   
   
“Not any longer. It’s fine,” he assured her.   
   
“Five-0 going real casual now?” she asked with a smirk, surveying their clothes down to their bare feet.   
   
“Leave us alone,” Danny pleaded.   
   
“Hey, hey Jersey. I contributed to your dinner,” Lakeu informed him with a laugh. “Thank God you two are finally coming to your senses.”   
   
“Not like we had a lot of choice,” Danny told her, trying to sound angry.   
   
“Pfft – you two are peanut butter and jelly. Why you didn’t realize it on your own is one of life’s great mysteries.”   
   
“The other one is why you insist on talking about it,” Danny retorted.   
   
“Because your face turns the most adorable shade of red,” she said far too happily.   
   
“I hate you. I hate your husband. I hate your dog. I’m thinking of coming to your house later and kicking it,” Danny warned.   
   
“Ehh,” she said with a shrug. “Whatever. Don’t forget I know where you currently live. And where you’ll soon be moving to if the betting pool is anywhere close to accurate.”   
   
“Oh dear God,” Danny said, turning his back on her and her completely unsympathetic laughter.   
   
“Don’t rile him,” Steve requested in a loud whisper. “I’ll have to deal with him if you do.”   
   
“From what I hear, you’ll enjoy that,” Lakeu teased, laughing at Danny’s groans. “Good luck, McGarrett. You’re going to need it.”   
   
Danny had to smile at Steve’s laugh. How could he not? The big goof.   
   
~o0o~   
   
Chin, Kono, Max, Kamekona, Charlie, and Duke were all standing by the computer table when Steve entered Five-0 headquarters Monday morning. They were staring at him, their expressions expectant.   
   
“What?” Steve asked, trying for innocent. “What is this? A receiving line? You don’t have anything to do? Because I can find work for each and every one of you. Don’t think I can’t. This is a regular work day, one where you are expected to actually _work_ , not gawk like spectators at a football game.”   
   
“Well,” Max said, breaking the silence of the observers. “He is certainly talking like Detective Williams. I did warn you it would be an unfortunate after-effect.”   
   
“How was your weekend, Boss?” Kono asked with a saucy wink.   
   
“Get to work. All of you,” Steve said, waving at them.   
   
“Did you start the fire in the Hilton?” Kamekona asked. “Too much friction?” His eyebrows were waggling in an almost disturbing manner.   
   
“It was a grease fire,” Steve said. “We were never in the kitchen.”   
   
“From what I hear, it’s the only place you didn’t go,” Chin informed him.   
   
“I can have you all fired. All of you,” Steve tried.   
   
“Not me,” Kamekona pointed out.   
   
“I don’t technically work for you,” Charlie reminded him.   
   
“Nor do I,” Max said.   
   
“I don’t,” Duke chimed in.   
   
“Get out,” Steve said, more a request now than an order.   
   
“We are watching out for your health and happiness. And this is how you treat us?” Kono protested, an adorable pout adorning her face.   
   
“You are not interested in either my health or happiness. You are all being inappropriately nosy,” Steve retorted.   
   
“Who’s being nosy?” Danny asked as he entered the main office. He stopped when he saw all the eyes trained on him and Steve, smiling at them. “Ahh…the receiving line.”   
   
“Did you have a good time?” “Was your weekend one you’ll always remember?” “Is Grace thrilled with the new development?” “When’s your next date?” “Was dinner really good?”   
   
“Yes. Yes. Yes. None of your business. Yes. Now,” Danny said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Go back to work.”   
   
They nodded, dispersing just like that, leaving Steve to stare down at Danny in disbelief.   
   
“What?” Danny asked, smiling up at him.   
   
“How did you answer all those questions like that?”   
   
“Survival technique of being a father. You’ll learn soon enough,” Danny promised. “How about a kiss before we get back to work?”   
   
Steve snorted softly but leaned down, gently kissing Danny. That there was applause coming from all sections of the main office and adjoining corridors should have surprised them, but in truth, they knew it was going to happen. They could have done without the wolf-whistles but they were content to share their happiness. They had plenty to go around.   
  



End file.
